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August 30, 2008

The Shoe Bandit Beagle

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

The dumb criminal in this story is a dumb animal, so I think we can forgive him...

The blame for a string of shoe thefts has been laid square on the very small shoulders of stray beagle. The penny dropped after Angie Jeffers reported one of her son's shoes disappeared after being left outside overnight and later turned up near the firehouse, where it was spied on a ramp right beside the dog.

The acting town Marshall has also seen the dog carrying a tennis shoe, with something on his head that was not a hat. The beagle obviously needs some fashion advice because the item on his head was a pair of ladies underwear. The dog was heading for the fire department.

Officials said the dog, who takes only one shoe at a time and never leaves any bite marks on the items, has proven difficult to capture.

I don't think they've been trying very hard, do you?

UPI

August 27, 2008

Kate Hudson in Hair Raising Scandal

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Celebrity

Kate Hudson and partner, David Babaii, are being sued by 220 Laboratories (that's the name of the company, not a whole load of laboratories!) for misappropriation of trade secrets, fraud, and breach of contract and confidence.

The problem is with her new hair care range, David Babaii for Wildaid. Apparently, in August 2006, Hudson and Babaii entered into a contract with suppliers of volcanic ash, they agreed that 220 Laboratories would develop and manufacture the new Babaii for Wildaid hair care range.

However, once the dumb couple had a hold of the confidential ingredient list, they took it to other companies in search of a more lucrative deal. They were successful and Universal now make the range.

Gotta get that company right out of their hair?

Celebrity Gossip

How Do You Know When You're Really Poor?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

When Thieves Feel Sorry For You and Leave You Money!

The criminals in this story are heroic rather than dumb. Flavia Alcantara, a Brazilian lady, left a note on the windscreen of her car warning thieves that it wasn't worth stealing.

The note read: Mr Robber, please do not steal this car. It has no batteries, no spare tire. It is in bad shape. Thank you for your attention.

She wasn't exaggerating; somebody did try to steal her car but gave it up as a bad job - and left her a 1 Reai banknote - worth about 80 cents.

Ananova

August 26, 2008

Research Results Awaited with Interest

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal


Jeffrey M Hansen wanted to know if the glass doors and windows of the Rock County Sheriff's Office were bullet-proof. In an experiment to find the answer to his research question, he repeatedly threw a large stone at the aforementioned doors and windows.

When officers went to investigate. Hansen gave himself up, holding out his wrists to officers, and admitted to causing the damage, telling officers to handcuff and arrest him. He told the officers he threw the rocks to see if the glass was bulletproof; investigating officers did find chips in the glass panes, a fact that will certainly inform the research project.

Ten people from a jail tour were in the lobby during the alleged incident.

Hansen was arrested for reckless endangering safety, criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct and is being held at the Rock County Jail until his initial court appearance.

We await the results of his research with interest, although one wonders if data produced for large stones (aka rocks?) is transferable to bullets.

Capital Times

Please Don't Tell the Wife

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Austrian Josef Reiner was admitted to hospital with a broken nose, jaw, and arm; injuries consistent with having been attacked.

However, when the hospital called police, Reiner admitted that he had used an iron bar to inflict the injuries on himself in an attempt to fake an armed robbery. Apparently, Reiner had lost thousands of dollars at the casino and was too frightened to tell his wife.

Ananova

August 25, 2008

Jail Pigeon Breeding Project Doomed!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Justice

A rehabilitation program at a high security jail in Bosnia encouraging prisoners to breed pigeons was one of those projects that seemed like a good idea at the time. However, one of the pigeons is now in custody and behind bars, accused of smuggling drugs.

Wardens at Zenica prison grew suspicious when four prisoners became visibly intoxicated shortly after the pigeon was spotted landing on a window-ledge. The wardens' suspicions were confirmed when the bird's owner and three other inmates later tested positive for heroin, which it is thought had been carried in by the pigeon in tiny bags attached to its legs.

The pigeon will remain behind bars until prison authorities decide what to do with it.

Ananova

August 23, 2008

It Wasn't Me, Your Honor

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

When two police officers stopped a Ford Ranger for failing to signal a turn on Thursday, the driver of the vehicle became very nervous, telling officers, "It's not my truck, if you find something, it's not mine", and "if there is anything in that black bag, it's not mine."

The police later found approximately 50 rocks of crack cocaine in the bag and impounded the truck.

The driver was arrested for possession of a controlled substance and is being held in the County Jail on a $1,500 bond.

How often must it be said - if you're carrying something illegal you should ensure that your driving is pristine.

Caller

Is it a plane, is it a bat...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

...No, it's a burglar!

When Paul Ives returned to his home in Dartford, England, after a long day at work he was shocked to find that he had been the victim of an attempted burglary; he was even more shocked to find the burglar still in situ - hanging upside down after apparently using a hammer he was still holding to smash through a glass window.

Ives reports "He was hanging upside down. His body was inside the house and he was stuck in the window with his foot outside. The more he struggled, the more he got jammed. When I got home, he still had the hammer in his hand which he had used to smash the main window and get some leverage."

Police and paramedics were called to the scene and, once freed, John Pearce pleaded guilty to burglary with intent to steal. Sentencing is scheduled for September 5th.


UPI

August 22, 2008

Doing Things By the Book!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Justice

Heidi Dalibor from Grafton in Wisconsin has been arrested and booked for not paying her library fines. Although Dalibor had ignored calls from the library, together with their letters and a notice to appear in court, she was still surprised when officers with a warrant knocked on her door, cuffed her and took her to the police station to be fingerprinted and photographed

The 'criminal' had to pay around $30 in unpaid library fines; it cost her mother rather more, at $172, to get her out of custody.

So what marvelous tomes of knowledge cost the Dalibor's over $200 for the pleasure of reading? White Oleander and Angels and Demons. Oh, dear; it wouldn't have been quite so bad if it had been great literature that had cost her so dear.

I dread to think what this literary escapade cost the State.

My Way News

Who? Who? It Was the Owl What Dunnit!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Michael Peterson, who was convicted of killing his wife, Kathleen Peterson has come up with a novel defense, or rather his attorney has.

Attorney Larry Pollard, a former neighbor of the Petersons, hopes to change the prosecutor's mind with evidence that was handed over to Peterson's defense team before the 2003 verdict. His hypothesis is that it was a neighborhood owl and not a fancy fireplace poker that caused the blunt-force trauma and head wounds that drained the life from Kathleen Peterson in December 2001.

Wouldn't there be feathers if that had been the case? Pollard has an answer for that one; an SBI report lists the presence of a microscopic feather mixed in with hair that Kathleen Peterson had clutched in her left hand.

So, are we saying that the owl killed Mrs Peterson with a fancy firework poker?

NewsObserver

August 21, 2008

Follow That Chair!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Justice


In Germany, two inventive teenagers added a lawnmower engine, bicycle brakes, and a metal frame to a revolving office chair and turned it into a something like a souped up go-kart.

But the German police haf vays of spoiling your fun. They confiscated the motorized chair and said that the inventors are being investigated over a variety of possible offenses, including defying insurance regulations, driving without a license and violating registration requirements. I don't suppose Ford had these problems!

I think its a wonderful invention - just think how much more you could get done in a day's work if your office chair was motorized!

My Way

August 18, 2008

This Guy Can't Drum Up Any Support From Me!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Celebrity

That well known skin-flint and drummer, Phil Collins, has been ordered to pay his third wife, Orianne Cevey, $50 million in a divorce settlement. That is even more than Paul McCartney had to pay Heather Mills.

As this is the guy who told his second wife he was leaving her via a fax message, I have to say (with tongue firmly in cheek) this couldn't have happened to a nicer person!

I supposes there is some kudos to be gained in shelling out more than Mr McC...

Stupid Celebrities Gossip

Remember the Guy Who Stole the Beer...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

and got 22 of his buddies arrested?

Well, apparently that wasn't his first arrest of the week. The previous day, he had robbed the same store and been caught with his illegal booty at the bus stop. One officer commented, "We don't know if he just started doing it or if he just started getting caught."

What's that saying about criminals not revisiting the scene of the crime? Should somebody explain it to the Not-So-Phantom Beer Bandit?

Denver News

Aah!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

This criminal is not so much dumb as naive; I challenge you not to sigh in sympathy (or something).

A 17 year old in Los Osos, California, has been charged with retail theft. He was arrested last Wednesday after he tried to get away with a 'Great Sex Kit' without paying for it.

The product apparently retails for $7.95; I wish I knew how you could get great sex for $7.95!

You know what - if I'd been the store clerk I would have bought it for him.

nwf Daily News

August 16, 2008

Um, That's the Wrong Sort of Bar!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Zachary Rajaniemi stole two 30-packs of beer from a 7-11 store early one morning. When police caught up with him, he was quenching his thirst with the stolen beer, along with 22 o f his friends.

All 23 were arrested for possession of alcohol and ended up behind the bars at El Paso County Jail. I suspect that the 22 wish their friend hadn't been so generous with his booty.

KTSM


When You're Out on the Rob...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

...Don't Answer the Phone!

Christopher Kron has been dubbed 'the most honest suspected burglar' that Lee County Sheriff's Office has ever seen.

Kron was robbing a bar when the alarms went off; as they are prone to do, the alarm company rang the bar's phone - and Kron answered their call, giving his correct name. When he couldn't give the correct password, however, police were summoned.

What's more, Kron returned to the scene of his crime the next morning, by which time the bar owner had seen him on the CCTV system. Kron was identified and arrested.

Kron said that the robbery had taken place on his birthday - he stole one bottle of Grand Marnier - and also commented on how nice and professional the lady from the alarm company was.

Our birthday boy was charged with unarmed burglary of a structure without persons inside, and petty larceny.

First Coast News

August 15, 2008

Englishman and His Girlfriend Make the Earth Move...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Justice

for their Neighbors!

Kerry Norris' boyfriend, Adam Hinton, must not go within 100 meters of her Brighton apartment.

Residents have been complaining for two years about thumping music, the sound of banging headboards, and screamed obscenities that come from the Norris home. The neighbors have also complained about Norris sunbathing naked in her yard.

'The court granted the city council's request for an injunction banning Hinton from the apartment because Norris had ignored a previous court order demanding that she be more quiet.'

Who thinks the neighboring women are jealous because:

a) they want sex that makes them scream and the headboard bang - you can only live on memories for so long

and

b) they wouldn't dare sunbathe naked in the yard?

Daily Telegraph

August 13, 2008

What Do You Wear When the Laundry Basket's Full and the Wardrobe's Empty?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Well, it's obvious, isn't it - you wear a Winnie-the-Pooh costume.

Well, that's what Japanese Masayuki Ishikawa wore anyway. His two friends apparently have far less style, they dressed as a mouse and a panther.

The thing is, when people in the street stared at them, Ishikawa took umbrage, beat them up and stole $160.

So much for Pooh sticks and honey for tea.

Reuters

You Can Tell Me - I'm a Porn Inspector

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

A desperate man made three tries within nine days to get free X-rated videos from an 'adult' store. All three attempts were unsuccessful, despite the fact that he showed a badge and claimed to be a police officer. He told store staff that he needed to ensure that the performers in the videos weren't underage.

Although the card he presented did not have a name, it claimed to have originated from the Longmont Age Verification Unit.

You won't be surprised to hear that there is no such unit.

Wink.News

August 12, 2008

Ex-Virgin Stabs Girlfriend

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Celebrity

Well, I suppose most of us are ex-virgins, but this particular ex-virgin is Shelley Malil, the Indian actor who played Haziz in the movie 40 Year Old Virgin and Chad in the Budweiser Wassup commercials.

According to the San Diego Sheriff's Department, the stabbing occurred sometime before 9 pm in San Marcos, California.

When Shelley Malil discovered his ex-girlfriend in her backyard with another man, he grabbed a knife and stabbed her repeatedly. He then chased her into her home. The victim's male friend received stab wounds to his hands as he tried to deflect the blows. The victim, who was allegedly stabbed up to twenty times, has two children who were present at the time of the attack.

The victim is currently said to be in critical condition, but is expected to survive.

It's ironic in this romantic tragedy to realize that Malil made his name in a romantic comedy.

Wassup indeed.

Stupid Celebrities

Step Away from the Bride!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

In Batavia, New York, a groom has been arrested for being to close to his bride on their wedding day.

Timothy Cole wed his ex-wife and they celebrated with a post-wedding party. During the celebrations Cole, who was well known to police, got involved in a quarrel with one of the guests. Apparently called to the wedding day altercation, officers realized that the new (recycled?) bride had previously taken out a protection order against Cole. The groom was arrested and charged with first-degree criminal contempt, a felony, and ordered jailed without bail.

Leaving a blushing bride, I suspect.

My Way News


August 11, 2008

Why did Rudy Cross the Road?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Because he's a chicken, of course!

Rudy is, in fact, a 5-foot, 400-pound bright blue rooster; not because he's been eating irradiated grain but because he's made of metal.

He managed to cross the road when somebody tried to steal him. For whatever reason, the thief gave up after crossing the road and Rudy's owner discovered the chicken he views as a 'family pet' next morning when he went for his daily paper.

The thief was obviously more chicken than Rudy.

My Way News

News: Germans Do Have a Sense of Humor!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Justice

German judge, Brigitte Koppenhoefer, could not control her hysterics as she tried a case between warring neighbors. As she heard tales of egg fights and parcels filled with feces, she gamely controlled her rising laughter. Unfortunately, the laughter dam eventually burst when the neighbors resorted to name calling, they hurled epithets such as 'donkey face' and 'smelly bum.'

The smelly bum proved too much; she cracked up and had to leave the court. On her return she threw out the 'ridiculous case.'

Perhaps not such a dumb justice after all.

Metro

August 09, 2008

Follow That Cab!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Fifty-five-year-old Faith Sullivan called a taxi service from a hotel and took a ride to the Compass Bank on Belair Boulevard (somewhere in Florida). The taxi waited outside for Sullivan to return. But, as taxi driver Malcolm Christian commented, "she wasn't cashing no check."

Sullivan is accused of robbing the bank and using Christian's taxi as her get-away car. The audacious former entertainer, once a member of the Air Force's band, is now in jail charged with robbery. Presumably she now sings for supper.

WKRG

Can I Call You Back Later?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Grayson Lee Clevenger, who was wanted in a first-degree burglary case in Burnsville, was involved in a police chase on July 22. The chase crossed the Minnesota-Wisconsin border and, close to the University of Minnesota, Clevenger fled on foot (which leads me to assume that, up until that point, he had been driving).

IN an attempt to bring the chase to a close, police called Clevenger on his cell phone. Clevenger answered their call with "Dude, I can't talk, I'm being chased by the police." Then he hung up.

The police must have failed to catch their quarry because Clevenger was eventually arrested following another chase. Having crashed his stolen getaway car, Clevenger once again tried to run away. This time he wasn't quick enough; police caught and arrested him.

As of yesterday, he was being held in Hennepin County Jail.

My Fox Twin Cities

August 08, 2008

Is That A Chicken in Your Pants...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

or are you pleased to see me?

In Palm Springs, California, an officer was rather perturbed by the swollen crotch of the man in a Wal-Mart Super Center. The puzzle was solved when the officer asked the man if he had anything on him that he (the officer) should know about; in response the man removed a 3 1/2-pound package of Foster Farms chicken breasts from the front of his pants.

Timothy Yates was booked on suspicion of possessing stolen property and taken to jail, where he was locked up in lieu of $5,000 bail. His crotch was far less spectacular following his arrest.

KNBC

The Romans had Bear Baiting Pits

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

in the US we have Barbecue Pits!

The argument between a man and woman about whether or not a guest should stay in their home became so heated that the woman picked up the barbecue pit and hit the man over the head with it.

The man responded by using the pit to hit the woman over the head; the final response went to the woman, who used the barbecue pit to smash the back window of the man's car.

Both combatants received medical attention before being arrested. The man was charged with aggravated battery, his opponent with aggravated battery and criminal damage.

We are not told whether the guest stayed or not.

My Way News

August 06, 2008

Wacky Races

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Picture the scene: the driver of a 1999 Chevrolet Tahoe is trying to flee from the police. In his efforts to get away, he floors the gas pedal and drives out onto a lake. After fifty yards or so, it occurs to the driver that, unless he is the new messiah, he shouldn't be able to do this. He looks down in consternation and, a heartbeat later, he and his car plunge into the water. Cue Mutley laugh.

However, this isn't a scene from Wacky Races, this really happened. Steven M. Frissora had allegedly used his car in an aggressive manner against a man fishing with a young child before taking his plunge. According to police, the car traveled a full 50 yards before coming to a halt. And ironically, the fisherman, helped police to rescue Frissora from the water.

Frissora had been under police investigation for violation of a restraining order. Following his attempt to drive on water, Frissora was charged with:

* violation of a protective order
* failure to stop for police
* resisting arrest
* driving so as to endanger
* drunken driving (second offense)
* assault with a dangerous weapon (motor vehicle)

He is now also certain that he is not the Second Coming.

Worcester Telegram and Gazette

What Happened to Honor Among Thieves?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

You have to admire thirty-three year old Edward Bishop for his cheek.

Bishop stole a Chevy Silverado pick-up truck and used it to drive to the convenience store. While sitting in the truck outside the 7-Eleven store, a man with a gun got into the truck and ordered Bishop to start driving.

When the pick-up ran out of gas, the hijacker ordered Bishop to get out and start pushing. However, the original thief took the opportunity to escape - and call the police.

Police spotted the truck the next day and, after a short chase that ended in a crash, hijacker Jomo Sexton was arrested.

How's that for karma in action!

San Francisco Chronicle

August 05, 2008

German Police in Sting Operation

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal


When a group of intruders went for a midnight skinny-dip in a swimming pool in Western Germany, they hadn't given any thought to planning a getaway should they get caught.

And get caught they did. Police chased the swimmers, who fled in different directions. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), one of the skinny-dippers jumped a wall - and landed straight in a hedge of nettles.

According to the police, all they had to do then was, "just follow the sound of the screaming."

Ouch...

Ananova

Mother Gives Court The Finger!

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

There was uproar in an English court room last week when the defendant pulled two fingers from her handbag and said they belonged to one of her children.

The Judge immediately cleared the court and the police were called, along with social services and the child protection team.

The defendant was mother-of-six Remi Fakorede, who is now behind bars for a tax credit fraud amounting to 925,000 pounds ($1,808.29). Fakorede claimed that the fingers had fallen off the child's hand as a result of a strong voodoo curse; the same curse that had forced her (Fakorede) into crime.

Although it is understood one of her children had lost part of her hand after suffering renal problems and developing gangrene, DNA test results are now under way to find out who the fingers belong to.

The Sun

August 03, 2008

Something Must Have Egged Them On...

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

Pennsylvania couple Philip Fleck and Heather Darcy egged the properties of over 400 people during an 18 month retaliation campaign against the friends they allege inflicted damages upon them.

Why should so many pay for the alleged actions of so few? Because Fleck and Darcy believed that this would draw suspicion away from them.

Police allege that the couple caused more than $7,000 during their campaign, but Darcy's mother denies this; she believes that police have got everything out of proportion - after all, she says, her daughter openly admitted things to the police, and was apologetic for one incident.

According to court documents, both Fleck and Heather Darcy admitted their role in the 18-month egg-tossing spree.

Why not take a look at the egg heads.

August 02, 2008

Will Secret Thief be Busted?

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Criminal

A Victoria's Secret store in Milwaukee has reported the theft of 115 bras. The thief was a woman, apparently, although I have know idea how police know this fact. I want to know how the hell this woman smuggled 115 bras out of the shop without being noticed.

I assume that 'undercover' police are working in a supporting role in this case.


JS Online

Silence is Golden

LegalView's DumbJustice - Dumb Celebrity

Hairspray actress, Nikki Blonsky, is not all sweetness and light it seems.

Various sources reveal that, on Wednesday of this week, Blonsky and her father were involved in an airport scuffle with America's Next Top Model contestant, Bianca Golden. Apparently, the Blonksy's refused to move their luggage when Golden, who was traveling with her mother, tried to take one of their reserved seats at the Providenciales International Airport in Turks and Caicos

As a result of the fight that broke out, the sweet faced 19 year old actress was charged with assault and actual bodily harm as well as common assault, her father was charged with grievous bodily harm, and Golden was charged with actual bodily harm and assault. Golden's mother was seriously hurt and had to be airlifted to hospital.

Blonsky Jr and Golden Jr have both been released on bail. Blonsky Snr is being held until August 8.


Silence might be Golden, but Golden certainly isn't silent. And as for the rather rotund Hairspray actress - well, the thought of being in a fight with her makes your hair stand on end.