In Glasgow, Scotland, James Thomson wanted to inflate his rapidly reducing funds by robbing a bookies, but a bungled performance took the shine off the experience for him.

Thomson robbed the betting shop by hiding a can of furniture polish in a bag and pretending it was a gun. He cleaned up too, getting away with a fair amount of cash. Sadly though, as he fled the scene of the crime, he spilled money from his bags, attracting attention unwanted as he tried to make a getaway in his girlfriend's car.

When police eventually caught up with him, Thomson came clean immediately, confessing "I went into the bookies with a can of Pledge and chanced my arm." He went on to explain, "It wasn't armed robbery. I wasn't aggressive. I'm bankrupt. I needed the cash."

The police weren't moved by his plight though, not even when they discovered that he had already blown £674 of the proceeds at another bookies. Thomson ended up in court, where he admitted assault and robbery at a Ladbroke's shop; he was put on probation for three years and ordered to have therapy for his depression.

Just another shining example of Scottish manhood.

Daily Record