Michael Santos, 38, was charged Friday with theft, criminal mischief and operating a vehicle after his driving privileges had previously been forfeited for life. His crime? Stealing an airplane to try and impress his girlfriend.

Unsurprisingly, Santos was drunk when he took his girlfriend to the airport and tried to prove to her that he could fly a plane. Well, actually, he can't fly a plan because they were heading down the taxiway when flames began shooting from one of the engines. The police report said that, half a mile along the taxiway, Santos missed the curve that would have taken him to the runway. As a result of this oversight, he chopped up soybeans with the propeller before getting stuck in the field.

His girlfriends comments are not recorded. Word from the wise, Santos, there are much easier ways of impressing your girlfriend (decency prevents me from detailing them online).

Comcast.net